Unfortunately not all marriages end up being a success. And if you are not happy in your marriage, you may be wondering when is it time to divorce. 

There is never a good time to get divorced. It is never an ideal step to take. However, in some cases, divorce may be the only option. 

Sometimes therapy might work. And it’s worth trying in many situations. However, most of the time, divorce is not the one and only solution to a failing marriage. 

When Is It Time To Divorce?

The question of when to divorce is largely a personal one. And every situation is different. However, there are 4 main situations where it’s pretty clear it’s time to seek a divorce. Let’s look at what they are. 

You And Your Spouse Are No Longer Communicating With One Another

Communication is an important factor in all relationships. We have heard the saying “communication is the key” before. 

And that statement is certainly true for many married couples. Communication is an important thing in marriage. It allows you and your spouse to understand each other as well as what both of you are going through. 

A consistent, long term lack of communication is one sign that a marriage is not working. Because lack of communication may seem like a lack of support from one or both parties. 

It can be difficult for one spouse to not open up with the other spouse just because one of them does not want to communicate. It can cause mental meltdowns and the sort, which can lead to serious bad situations. 

Feeling that your thoughts are not valuable or not listening to you can cause self-doubt which can cause severe and harmful things. 

Although divorce is not the first solution for the lack of communication between couples, it is an option. This is especially true if it is severe and has been going on for a very long time. 

Therapy may help. But, if it doesn’t, then it’s likely time to get a divorce.

There Is A 3rd Party Involved

Infidelity or cheating is one of the more common reasons why couples get a divorce. The feelings of betrayal that come with infidelity can not only destroy relationships with the spouse and children, but also their lives. 

But not all marriages where infidelity happens end in divorce. There are plenty of factors to consider when deciding whether to get divorced due to your partner’s cheating. 

Do you still love them? Do they feel deep remorse about it? Do they take full responsibility for their actions? Are you sure they have ended the affair? Do they have a history of cheating/lying about it?

These are all things to weigh as you consider if it’s time to divorce. Working through these issues with the help of a therapist may be helpful here. 

But if the emotional damage is too great, if you consider cheating unforgivable, if you don’t feel you can trust your partner again, then divorce may be the only choice.

Domestic And Verbal Abuse

A marriage where one spouse hurts the other is definitely not a healthy marriage. Marriages are supposed to be loving and supporting one another as well as their children. 

If you are being physically abused, it’s time to leave. Make a plan to escape and get yourself (and your children) to a safe place. Find a domestic violence program in your area. 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

You can also find some helpful resources on how to get out of an abusive relationship here.

Hurting each other or your children, even if it is just verbal, is something that can destroy the victim’s life. So to avoid further harm, sometimes divorce is necessary. 

You And Your Spouse Are Always In Conflict

Occasional conflict in a marriage is completely normal. It’s impossible to live with someone for a long time and get along all the time. However, when there is too much conflict between you and your spouse, even on simple things, it can be toxic. 

It shows that there is a lack of healthy communication between two parties. It can show a lack of respect for each other and the relationship. 

And divorce may be the only solution to end the conflict and the stress. Especially if any attempts to fix it, like through marriage counseling, don’t make things any better.

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