It is normal for marriages to have ups and downs over time. Sometimes the downs can get so bad that one or both partners think about getting a divorce.
Some married couples choose to stay together and resolve their marital issues through counseling or other means. But not all marriages are unbreakable. Sometimes, a couple decides that marriage is not working for them anymore.
Maybe it is because there is no more love in the marriage, or maybe because one spouse refuses to change for the benefit of the marriage and the family. But how do you know whether divorce is the right option for you?
There is no right or wrong answer here. We can’t answer the question “should you get a divorce?” for anyone. But we can offer some things to think about that can help you arrive at the best decision for you and your situation.
Should You Get a Divorce?
When exactly should you consider getting a divorce? Here is a checklist that we hope can help give you some things to consider when you decide whether or not to get a divorce.
Is Your Spouse Abusive To You?
Abuse is more than just hurting your spouse physically; abuse also includes verbal and emotional abuse.
Signs of abusive behavior include guilt trips, gaslighting, dominant behavior, and physical violence and threats. If your spouse is abusive, then divorce could be a good option to protect yourself.
If you are experiencing signs of abuse, it is important to put your safety first. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.700.SAFE (7233) for more resources and information.
Are You Prepared To Divorce Your Spouse?
Answering this question requires evaluating the emotional and financial outcomes of divorce. Divorces have a big psychological impact on a person.
It can be very difficult to return to a normal life after a divorce. That is especially true if it is your first marriage.
The psychological effects of divorces on a person may include having difficulty of opening up to others, self-loathing, lack of self-confidence, and more.
In a financial sense, divorces can be very expensive. That is even true if you and your spouse are to have an uncontested divorce where a lot of issues will be resolved amicably.
You will also need to consider the division of property, child support, and even spousal support if necessary. And if you have a contested divorce and lose the financial battle, getting a divorce may be very costly to you.
How Will A Divorce Affect Your Children?
Marriage is not just about you and your spouse, and the same could be said about divorces. If you have young children, getting a divorce will impact them.
Children are dependent on their parents, especially younger children. A divorce may negatively affect the lives of your children.
You and your spouse are more than just a support to your children; you and your spouse are everything to them. So weighing the effect of getting a divorce vs staying married will have on your kids is a big part of this decision.
Have You Tried Resolving Your Marital Issues?
Confronting, opening up, and solving issues together should be part of a marriage to maintain a healthy relationship. Overcoming your issues together rather than avoiding them will lead to an even stronger bond.
Keeping your issues secret from each other will only lead to resentment. Talking to a marriage counselor may help you open up to your spouse and have them open up to you.